Before there was the duel, there was the negotiation. And it is hard to find a better example of what not to do when trying to save face and resolve conflict than can be seen in the letters between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr.
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Last week, Yankees General Manager and top Negotiator Brian Cashman had to face the media for the first time after the team’s devastating ALCS loss against the arch rival Houston Astros. At a certain point things took a harsher turn, resulting in the press conference becoming more newsworthy than it would normally be after Cashman …
Continue reading “Brian Cashman’s Face Saving Press Conference”
Being ghosted is one of the common phenomenons that salespeople experience day in and day out. After so much perceived “rejection”, it can be easy for anyone to fall into the trap of believing their prospect is no longer interested. According to face theory, the most common way that we deal with face threats to …
The year was 1969, and Henry Kissinger was shortly to become the world’s most famous negotiator. One of his early victories as National Security Advisor was getting the Sovet Union to reduce their restrictions on Jewish emigration, resulting in tens of thousands being able to leave the communist country over just a few years time. …
In his brilliant new book “Talking To Strangers”, Malcolm Gladwell takes an extremely close look at how we’re often deceived by others – until it’s too late. He does this by recasting in vivid detail a wide range of famous cases, including the stories of the exposed Cuban spy Ana Montes, Bernie Madoff, Jerry Sandusky, …
According to Politeness Theory, there are three key strategies that salespeople and negotiators use to minimize FTAs: claiming common ground, conveying cooperation, and fulfilling wants. Claiming Common Ground Within this first strategy are the tactics of noticing, exaggerating, seeking agreement, and avoiding disagreement. Noticing is accomplished by paying compliments, such when we comment on something …
Continue reading “Positive Politeness – Strategies & Tactics”
Last weekend, I went car shopping and was offered a slight discount on the initial price under two conditions: First, the salesperson had to convince his manager to approve this special discount. Second, I had to commit to purchasing on the spot if his gamble was approved. After I affirmed on both counts, he disappeared …
Continue reading “Why “Let me check with my Manager…” is an incredibly effective ritual”
One time, a customer asked if they could try my product. I responded, “You can…but I don’t recommend it. I recommend getting started now, and here’s why.” Two minutes later, they bought. Sales Trainer Grant Cardone responds to “I’m not buying today” with “That’s fine, most people don’t buy on the first day. Most people …
Distance In Politeness theory, distance describes the degree of social familiarity between parties, such as the difference between a close friend and a complete stranger. When distance is high, we tend to minimize our FTAs (face threatening actions), and focus on off record (implied) requests. Conversely, when distance is low and familiarity high, we tend …
Continue reading “3 Key Factors in Politeness – Distance, Power, Impositions”
According to Politeness theory, selling and negotiating are among the most delicate of social interactions. This is because our offers and requests – the essence of what we do – are experienced as “FTAs” (Face threatening actions) by both parties. Having built on the work of Erving Goffman, the authors of this theory distinguish between …
Continue reading “Why there’s more to Politeness than meets the eye”
Saving Face 